Advice from a divorcee who knows better now

It’s been 10 years since my divorce. I spent 8.5 years with him. And to be honest…I knew on some level that marrying him was the wrong choice from the beginning. But, I felt obligated because we had already moved in together, and because he wanted to get married so badly. I figured that whatever was “wrong” between us would eventually work itself out. Back then I didn’t know why things didn’t feel great between us. As I look back, now in my 40’s, I can very clearly see the mistakes I made. …


How To Keep Life Fun, For Busy People

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Sometimes I have to remind myself: Just because I’m running a business and raising two boys, doesn’t mean I don’t get to have fun.

When that “To Do” list gets long, we can forget that anything other than The List exists.

Yes, we need to get a lot done. Yes, we have a lot of responsibility bearing down on our shoulders…but why not dance around while we carry it?

All of the things we do will be more fun if we MAKE IT FUN! Plus, this is good for your health. Stress is NOT good for us. Taking our daily…


There are multiple phases of readiness before we’re ready for actual change, and we can’t rush them.

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Life doesn’t always feel comfortable. There are things we wish were different. Sometimes we imagine how life could be if we could make some changes, but we never seem to “get over the hump”.

Why does this happen and is it healthy?

Yes, this is totally normal, and healthy. There are multiple factors that affect our readiness to change. It isn’t simple…until you’re truly ready.

When you see others make behavior change in their lives and it seems like it’s no effort for them, that’s because they’ve probably spent years navigating the process of self-change and it’s become a way…


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I want to see the deep, black ocean
Far away from any continent
Its darkness
Hinting at hidden depths mostly unknown
I want to pitch and sway on the uncontrollable sea
To feel the weight of the world moving
Proving its presence
I want to float on its unmistakeable existence
Careless

I want to touch my heart to this world
With nothing between us
To feel the quiet
To see the wild of it
To stare into the wordless meaning of existence

The heart of this world
Is not thin
Nor easy
Nor simple

And neither are you Dear one…


It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself.

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“Fitness” is a trigger word for a lot of people.

Hidden within its depths is a feeling of pressure. A feeling of “not good enough”. And sometimes a feeling of “I have to do this because so many people say it’s normal to be fit.”

But what if being active is not really about being fit? What if being active is simply an opportunity to be more connected to yourself?

When I joined a CrossFit gym many years ago, I joined because I wanted to look better. …


Our higher consciousness is interested in expanding

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The ego is crucial to our survival. It is the subconscious push for power and perceived safety. It keeps us competing to be stronger and better than those around us. It drives us to “get”.

Our higher consciousness is interested in expanding on what the ego provides by pushing us to thrive. It is also subconscious, but much quieter than ego. It drives us to “seek”. We have to become quiet in order to hear it… which can be difficult in such a loud world.

The human race is on the edge of a new kind of evolution; the evolution…


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It took me a long time to find my power.

My life had become one apology after another:
The apologies I spoke aloud
And the ones I breathed internally, quietly
I no longer even noticed them
They were a part of me

I apologized for needing things I apologized for feeling sad I apologized for feeling angry For being too pretty For not being pretty enough For being too androgenous For being too strong For being too weak For being too different For not being interesting enough For not making enough money For not letting others do what they wanted…


It’s time

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To walk around a ghost in your own life is worse than death. To not be seen, no matter who looks upon you. To not be understood, no matter who speaks to you. To be taught how to live by people who do not recognize who you are, or even who they are.

This is the tragedy that brings families and societies to the crumbling point. This is the bedrock on which addiction, misery, and abuse stand. To not know who your family members or the people around you are, not really. To be with others, yet to feel utterly…


The beauty behind our own resistance

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Our thoughts can be stronger than the force of gravity.

No matter how much will a person has, the simple phrase “I can’t” can stop them in their tracks without them even noticing it happened.

I watch people convince themselves that they can’t do something, on a weekly basis.

I watch them speaking and I listen to their words, and all the while I see someone so capable, so strong, so smart. I see someone who doesn’t notice that they’ve pushed down their own power, with their own thoughts.

I have so much empathy for this. We’re all human. We…


And I believe in you

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The solution you’re looking for can be as simple
As putting a puzzle together
You have to want to find the right pieces
You have to believe that you can in fact
Find them

Second
You’ll have to really see
Really look at what’s in front of you
Because the pieces might be there
But they won’t matter

Until you see them for what they are

Will your Will win? Or your disbelief? Dear, sweet human You can tell yourself it’s not possible That the puzzle will never fit That the pieces you need are not there That you’re not…

Melissa Raise

Owner of Raise the Bar Wellness. Wellness Coach, CPT, LMT. Single mom. Writer. Rooting for love and conscious evolution. Instagram @raisethebarwellness

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